It seems my creeper really isn't here to help me, and that "dream" thing...wasn't a dream. I know now who the entity stalking me is: Azael. He's tormented me for years and to make a long story short, drove me to within inches of suicide. As I sat contemplating the fastest & least painful way, a voice forced its way into my thoughts and told me that if I went through with it "then IT wins. You've then given up any hope of relief from God." Obviously, I made the choice to resist and endure.
I think the shadow essence I've felt on and off since then was Azael, trying to get hold of me again, but now I have God and St. Michael protecting me. I think that weird 'dream' thing was an attempt to get control of me again, but I was protected. I haven't felt the oppression since that event, but I do have the sense Azael is still watching from a distance, waiting for another opportunity.
I was meditating after the event happened and wondering who this dark entity was, and that's when the name "Azael" came to me, so I did some research on him...all I knew going in was that Azael was one of the fallen angels cast into hell with Lucifer. From what I've since read, it seems to fit...all the years of my life being one crisis heaped on top of another, the extreme fatigue that was sometimes so oppressive it was an effort to even breathe (and nothing medical could ever be found as a reason), the depression, the anxiety, the continual "bad luck" I endured for YEARS. I think it was Azael trying to break me down, and he very nearly succeeded.
In my reading, I also found a listing of the stages of possession, and from the things it describes it seems I was fully into the second stage: diabolic oppression/obsession. Thankfully, I had enough strength to resist giving up and I instead called on God and St. Michael to protect me. I feel they did, and that the demon would have won without their intervention.
To some extent, I feel a little weird even writing all of this, but this is what I believe took place.
